Honey I Can’t Find My Self

How to Have a Kid and a Life

Continue to have and grow your life. It’s better for you and your kids.

When did being a good mother come to mean giving up everything that used to make you . . . you? That’s the question millions of 21st-century mothers grapple with every day as they muddle through our kid-centric culture. Contrary to incessant messaging, not always putting your kids first—not sacrificing your own free time, enjoyment, and dreams so your kids can have your full attention every day—is what makes for a good mother.

With Honey, I Can’t Find My Self, popular journalist and parenting expert Ericka Sóuter shares her tips for being a happy, whole person while still being a wonderful (and sometimes just good enough, which is plenty good) parent. Sóuter blends her own stories of surviving the seismic challenges of becoming a parent with testimonials from stay-at-home and working mothers; interviews with therapists and researchers; and findings from the latest studies on happiness, self- care, and parenthood. What she delivers is a wonderfully irreverent survival guide to motherhood.

Here, you’ll find advice on keeping your career on track while parenting, handling clueless and unhelpful partners, taking back ownership of your body, creating a reliable village of support (even with moms you didn’t think you’d like), staying connected with child-free friends, and what to do if you feel like you’re missing the “mom gene.”