X That Ex

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Self-help

Kristin Carmichael

Hunter House

Language of origin

Making a Clean Break When the Relationship is Over

“Hell no. It’s over. I am done.”

Saying it to him felt so damned good. God knows he deserved it. Still deserves it. So why is it that only a few weeks later, I doubt if I can stand by what I said?

X That Ex is the long-awaited answer for women who have left a bad relationship and don’t want to go back. It is incredibly common for women to leave partners who are emotionally unavailable, disrespectful, immature, selfish or even abusive, but then struggle to stay away.

Women might be tripped up by their exes’ schemes to get them back, their own self-sabotaging ways or even by our society, which seems to glorify a “just give him one more chance” philosophy. To their family and friends’ dismay, huge numbers of women go back to toxic relationships, wasting years and the possibility of happier lives on men who can’t give them what they deserve.

If the post-breakup world for most people were logical, fair, regulated and well-defined, there would be no need for X That Ex. As most of us know, however, the time after a breakup is emotionally messy, sometimes chaotic and filled with conflicting feelings, motivations, hopes, temptations and realities that must be dealt with.

X That Ex focuses on this confusing time, demystifying why it is so difficult to stay away from a problematic ex, and distinguishing itself by making personalized predictions for readers about what to expect from their exes and themselves in the tumultuous time right after a relationship ends. This book is a unique roadmap that guides readers through the sometimes perilous time when a woman’s ex might try time-tested tactics to tempt her back, when self-sabotage may make a woman her own worst enemy, and when even our culture gets in on the action by making reunification seem reasonable.

Kristin Carmichael

Kristin Carmichael is a leading advocate, speaker and consultant in the area of domestic violence. She offers services in the following areas: Conference speaker Seminar and workshop leader Expert witness Consultation services for medical providers & hospitals Technical support for domestic violence providers & shelters Kristin, a Licensed Independent Social Worker in New Mexico, holds Master’s degrees in social work, and business administration. She is Domestic Violence Specialist at CHRISTUS St. Vincent Regional Medical Center. In this role, Carmichael consults, trains, and collects data to develop the Southwest’s first medical-advocacy program dedicated to the safety of abuse survivors. The former manager at Esperanza Shelter for Battered Families, she’s an expert in the dynamics of unhealthy relationships advocating for and counseling more than a thousand domestic violence survivors. Her research on the types and frequency of abuse survivors endure previous to shelter entry has been published. She has, since 2001 trained teens, law enforcement, judicial system officials, healthcare and business professionals, on issues related to domestic violence. She has presented seminars to behavioral health professionals at conferences, shared her original research and theory at statewide and national conferences, and has given multiple interviews for both newspapers and radio. Kristin is on the cutting edge of theory and effective practice. She is also the co-facilitator of Santa Fe’s Medical Action Team of the Coordinated Community Response Council, a member of New Mexico’s Domestic Violence Homicide Review Team, a co-founder of Santa Fe’s Safety First Team, a steering committee member for Santa Fe’s Coordinated Community Response Council, and a member of New Mexico’s Network to End Domestic Violence.

Agence Schweiger